Hoof Fellas

It back.

Hello, my darlings! Thank you for sticking it out through my hiatus while I tackled some incredibly involved commissions and finished up what I hope is my last office job, period.

A lot has happened. I started doing drag under the name Cesare the Drag Prince and basically taught myself makeup and wig care, established an entire persona and fan base, and made connections with some incredible queerdos who make my world go round. Aside from that, I have had to attend a few family emergencies, which unfortunately included a funeral, but Hoof Fellas has been a comforting world in which to return.

And speaking of that…I blink for two seconds and Tumblr isn’t a viable option anymore, as they started really crunching down on those censors…and right when I was about to introduce a completely nude character. I guess they saw me comin’ a mile away, which is really disconcerting, as I usually draw the curtains.

Thus I shall be uploading all the explicit content in their full, nude (but apparently Tumblr is fine with violence? I don’t understand) glory on Hoof Fellas‘ very own site that you see before you! I’m super excited to customize it exactly the way I want in all the ways that Tumblr wouldn’t allow me, and I’m super serious and super excited about cracking down on producing these pages and taking you on the wild ride that not even I can always predict.

I do know how this story ends, and in that sense there is a destination, but like sitting in the backseat while a blue demon instructs his chain-smoking manservant down the suspicious backroad “shortcut” en route to an inter-dimensional baking convention, I’m just along for the ride. You glance worriedly over to me but I smile and pull out a bottle of champagne. They can’t drink and drive, but there aren’t any rules against an ol’ drink ‘n’ ride. Why champagne? Why, because it’s New Years, and because white wine is one of the only alcohols I can drink safely. I tell you it’s because of the autism, but you nod, already understanding. I’m impressed at how aptly you read my mind, as you slyly procure two champagne glasses from your left shoe. I tell you I’m amazed that you fit them both in one shoe, and ask for you to reveal your secrets, but you coyly place a finger to your lips, wink, and say “I’ll never tell.” This is just enough mystery to draw me in, and I relish sharing a glass with you. The pop of the cork strikes Henry in the back of the ear and the car swerves, but Scorpius grabs the wheel just in time, driving us right into a ditch, which would indeed be a problem if it wasn’t a portal to Hell. I clink my glass with yours and salute you, comrade.

Happy New Year, my darlings…and happy riding.

Chess